Month: March 2018

What is BPD – Borderline Personality Disorder

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A pretty scary sounding diagnosis. ‘Personality Disorder’, the name just screams out to people to run away from anyone diagnosed with BPD. We are not scary, we have many positive features. We view the world and relationships differently, we ‘feel’ more. BPD’s are not dangerous or manipulative, which is how we are sometimes described.

Please what ever you do, do NOT read through the symptoms and characteristics of BPD and diagnose  yourself or anyone else. If you, or someone you know may show symptoms of BDP, get an appointment with a psychiatrist. BPD can be a difficult condition to diagnose, and it has to be done by a professional. There are similar diagnoses to BPD and it can be confusing.

Research

When researching any medical condition, check your sources to make sure that they are respected and reliable. A good start is to look for .gov websites and pages, like the one below.

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/borderline-personality-disorder/index.shtml

The above page is a good place to start. It explains the disorder in relatively plain language. Below is another good, simple explanation, this time from a UK website.

What is borderline personality disorder? Everything you need to know about the condition

Don’t believe everything you read!

There are many websites that preach doom and gloom for BPD. Don’t believe them! BPD is a treatable condition, not by drugs, but by therapy. I will say it again, it can be treated, and the life of BPD people can be improved. It can be hard work, but so worth it. You are worth it.

The first step is to get a good diagnosis from a professional. Sure! There are drugs that can help with some of the symptoms, but therapy is where the healing and recovery takes place.

 

 

Why this blog is here

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I was first diagnosed with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder), in my 50’s. I always knew that there was something wrong with me, that I was different, that my thinking processes were not ‘normal’. I was first diagnosed with PTSD and depression way back in about 2007. I was given meds and referred to a psychiatrist. The meds worked for a while and made a small difference. I ended up in hospital after a Xanax overdose. I was given more and more meds, and eventually changed psychiatrists twice. Fast forward to 2016. I started therapy again and saw a new psychiatrist. She sent me for a psychological evaluation. It lasted three hours and really didn’t give much useful information. The diagnosis was Generalized anxiety disorder with elements of PTSD, major depressive disorder and personality issues.

I was sent for a further psychological evaluation. This one lasted a solid seven hours and included an EEG. The results from this in depth evaluation were PTSD – Chronic, BPD, Generalized anxiety disorder, social phobia – unspecified, OCD – unspecified and major depressive disorder, recurrent severe without psychotic episodes.

The diagnosis all pointed to BPD being the central part, with the other issues all being part of the make up of BPD.

On January 27th 2018, I walked out of the house and drove to a parking lot where I took a large overdose of medications that I had been saving for the suicide. I was discovered and taken to the hospital slipping in and out of consciousness. More about this in another post. I am writing this diary to try and help my recovery, try to remove the stigma of BPD, and help others who are interested or have the same diagnosis of BPD.